


Fools and Follies

by TayBartlett9000



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Doubt, Gen, Guilt, Officer - Freeform, Uncertainty, alternative ending, centimental Rimmer, eventual conclusion, self worth, series 11 episode 4, still typical Rimmer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:45:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9233708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TayBartlett9000/pseuds/TayBartlett9000
Summary: Alternative ending to Red Dwarf series 11 episode 4-Officer Rimmer. After a lifetime of wanting to be an officer, Rimmer isn't sure  whether this is really what he wants after all.





	

Fools and Follies.

By Taylor Bartlett.

 

Rimmer stood by the mirror, gazing as if transfixed at his own reflection, heart hammering in his chest as he thought of the evening ahead.

 Arnold Rimmer knew that he should have been excited by the prospect of being the   most important guest at the opening officer’s banquit that would be taking place in a few short hours. He, after all, had been given the official rank of officer, something that he had wanted and longed for, for as long as he could remember. He had wished for   officerhood in primary school. He had been jealous of his much more talented older brothers in secondary school. He had pretended to smile brightly as his brothers, now decorated officers had marched proudly in the military passing out parade as a younger adult. But he had never reached that pinnacle of class himself. And now, after a chance encounter with a bioprinted officer, he had achieved his goal. Yes. He should have been ecstatic about this. Anyone else would be.

So why was his heart not soaring with joy at his new appointement? Why was his happiness coloured significantly by what could only be described as a sense of anti climax?

A light tapping on the door pulled Rimmer out of his reverie and the once second technician hastened to open it, using the official officer’s card that he now owned.

Kryten stood on the threshold of Rimmer’s bedroom door. The android stood looking in at the large room that was deckorated with military colours and posters of Arnold Rimmer himself. Kryten scanned the hologram’s face carefully, searching for that usual sign of pride and selfish triumph that usually lurked about it like a wolf about to pounce. Yet he could not see it. The only expressions Kryten could see upon that same face were confusion and... Could it be possible? Regret? Kryten blinked, certain that his   androidal eyes had been playing tricks on his pozitronic brain. Rimmer was an officer now. No way would he regret or feel bad about something that major.

“Good evening sir,” Kryten said grandly, choosing to keep his observations to himself for the moment. He held out a hand to shake Rimmer’s. It was the way to greet one’s officer and better after all. “The guests have arrived sir. I have bioprinted enough people to fill every seat in the largest dining room. I think you will be happy with the deckorations but I want you to come down and see them. I want to make sure that everything is perfect for the evening.”

“Certainly  Kryten,” Rimmer agreed, trying his best to sound triumphant and full of life, but knowing deep down that the  hollowness in his voice would be missed by nobody. He stepped out of the room, using the officer’s card to electronicly lock it  behind him and allowed Kryten to lead him down the long battleship grey corridor of the starship.

As Arnold Rimmer  tried his best to saunter casually down the  corridors of the Red Dwarf, he was made aware of the fact that his appointement to officer made it possible for Rimmer to claim this ship as his own. The Red Dwarf, its crew and everything in it were now his. This was another thing that Rimmer had always wanted. He had always wished for his own ship. Howard had his own ship. Frank had his own ship and so did John. Now Rimmer himself could tell his brothers that he too owned a starship.

He knew that he should have been ecstatic about this as well. But the knowledge that he had his  own ship brought Arnold Rimmer no joy what so ever.

He tried his best to push the niggling feeling down into the  deepest corners of his mind but he failed miserably.

Kryten was talking again. Rimmer wasn’t listening. The android stopped  in front of the double doors of the ship’s largest dining room and pulled them  open in as grand a style as he  possibly could. Arnold Rimmer  blinked as he followed Kryten inside.

The  android had clearly outdone Him with the deckorations of the dining room. The whole room was covered with banners and flags, some showing the logo of the Jupiter Mining Corperation but ninety nine  !% of them showing vastly ballooned images of Rimmer’s own face. Rimmer stood in the doorway of the dining room looking  in on the many pictures of himself that he could  now see.

“Do you like it, sir?” Kryten asked in  an almost pleading tone of voice that Rimmer had never heard him use before. It really was as if the mechanoid actually wanted his approval for once. Normally, Kryten couldn’t care less whether Rimmer liked what he did or not.  

Rimmer nodded. “It’s... wonderful Kryten,” he said, the balloon of shame and self disgust in his chest expanding in his throat until it seemed to be choking the air from his lungs. Again, he could hear the slight note of doubt and falseness colouring his voice but he knew that Kryten wouldn’t be able to. This certainty was furthered by the look of honest joy on Kryten’s face. Kryten truely did  believe that Rimmer liked what he was looking at.

But he did not. The many faces of Arnold Rimmer were tugging at his self esteem and imbedding the feeling of self disgust further into his mind.  Those bright smiles were making  him feel  guilty.

“Are you  alright, Officer Rimmer?” Kryten asked politely.

Rimmer jerked back to reality, noticing that the mechanoid  was standing right in front of him, looking uncharacteristically  concerned. Kryten had once again seen that look of  uncertainty on the hologram’s face and Rimmer tried his best to force a smile onto his face.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Kryten asked.

Rimmer nodded. Perhaps it was for the best. In normal cercomstances, Arnold Rimmer would never confide in another soul. But he was desperate and he had the sense that once he divulged his feelings, he would feel slightly better within himself. “I then,” he agreed out loud, “but only if you promise not to laugh.”

“Of course I won’t, sir,” Kryten said with a vigerous nodding of his head.

Rimmer opened his mouth and finally managed to speak. “Err...  Well... I, I was wondering... whether I really  do deserve the position of officer? I mean, I know that the bioprinted officer says it’s a  valid position but...” He tailed off into silence. He couldn’t finish the sentence. In any event, having spoken his fears out loud, he felt decidedly lighter. He had now told Kryten of his doubt.

Kryten was not at all sure what to say. He had certainly not expected Rimmer to say what he had said. The man was normally so  happy with himself. Rimmer was normally so pleased with everything that he said and did. Now, he was voicing the   concerns  that Dave Lister and Kryten himself had.

“Well,” the android began, “I do have to say that nobody else on board this ship believes that you should hold the rank of officer. Why do you have these concerns? I was under the impression that to be an officer was all that you ever wanted?”

Rimmer nodded, swallowing hard. “I...” he said again, closing his mouth and  running his tongue around his suddenly dry mouth. He clenched his fists and forced his mouth open once more. “I,  didn’t do anything in particular to deserve the rank of officer. I didn’t do anything at all.” He dug his nales into the palms of his sweating hands as he prepared to finish his little speech. “It was based on lies,” he concluded quietly, “I don’t want to be an officer purely because of a lie or a mistake.”

There. He had said it.

Kryten tried hard to hide his surprise. Here Rimmer  was, stating point blank that he  didn’t want to be an officer after all. After an entire day of lording his new appointment over Lister, the Cat and himself, he was preparing to denounce his officerhood. What was wrong with Rimmer?

“Are you sure sir?”  He asked, giving the hologram a chance to come to his senses.

Rimmer only nodded. “ Cancel the banquit Kryten,” he said in a low voice, pointing vaguely at the lavishly deckorated dining room, “and delete the bioprinted Rammers that you’ve already made. I’m going to the ship’s registry  and  resigning.”

 He turned on his heal and walked out of the room without so much as a backward glance at Kryten, still standing stunned in the middle of the room.

He made his way to the command room and sat down at the ship’s main computer, logging onto the ship’s registry. He swiftly resigned his post as  officer and changed his status to  second technician once more.

Sitting back in his chair, Rimmer rested his hands upon the desk. He was glad to find that he didn’t at all regret his decision. John, Frank and Howard could keep their ships. They could keep their hard earned respect. They could keep their shiny officer badges and they were welcome to the ranks that they held. After a lifetime of wishing for officer hood, Arnold Rimmer was painfully aware of the fact that perhaps being an officer was not what he wanted after all.

“Oh well,” said a tiny voice inside Rimmer’s head, “at least Lister won’t be able to hold anything against you now. And you will still be able to boss him around as you did before, but this way, you will have earned  the right to outrank him. Surely that’s better than nothing.” Rimmer nodded absently, with  the tiny voice all the way. He was right after all, as he always was. As second technition, Arnold Rimmer had legitimate authority over Lister, and that was on the whole, ten times better than fake authority. He sank back in his chair, turned on the back  massager and smiled to  himself as the heat rose up his spine. Who would have thought that   Rimmer would  actually be glad to be a lowly second technition.


End file.
